Names Within a Name

There are so many different versions of my name, more than any name I can think of actually. Richard, rick, rich, richie, ricky, dick, dicky. And people use most of them on me...though I rarely hear the latter two. Most people I know call me rick, some rich (which I don't mind), professionally its richard, only two people in my life call me richard, one is my mother. I don't like, richie, for obvious reasons, but also because it's just too damn buddy-buddy. I don't like ricky because that was my nickname when I was little and I guess it's belittling to me. I don't like dick or dicky. My grandfather goes by dick. Why would anyone want to be called such a phallic name? Some one on set is calling me ricky...that's where all this is coming from I guess. The producer asked me what I like to be called. Usually I say it doesn't matter. But now I say "either rick or richard." .....unless I'm armed and moving in with my friends on the bowling ball personification of baby jesus, then it's Virgil.