People Stew

I don't feel like I have dedicated enough time to introduce the woman who is my land lady. She is an older gal, I'm guessing late 60's. She lives upstairs alone. She screams a lot. I mean a lot. I am quite sure she is part-insane. She had never screamed at/around me, but when I am out of view, she lets it out. It is my belief and others who have encountered her, that she baits people into her house, kills them, seasons them, chops them up and makes a hearty people stew out of them. We also believe she has done this with countless tenants, and my days are numbered. So if one day, you get a call saying I have joined the missing persons list, you need look no further than upstairs. Perhaps I will be boiling with some red potatoes and green beans on the stove, in the refrigerator chilling in disposable Tupperware, or hanging out in the freezer, waiting for a nice rainy dain and some fresh artisan bread.