IN[CAR]CERATION

Through an odd twist of fate I ended up using my friend's car and working on the movie I Am Legend the other day. The movie shot some in NYC a couple of months ago, but then mostly all the production wanted were empty cars. For any one that knows the story of the novel, I think you could guess why. Well this time they wanted bodies, and lots of them. 1,500 to be exact. I was extremely for this night for two reasons. 1: Because I am SAG. 2: Because I had a vehicle that night. I got to location good and early and parked in the reserved area. Entering this enormous white tent that housed the 1,500 extras was like walking into a circus. Complete pandamonium. Luckily I was first in the SAG line because I was so early and so I checked in, grabbed a couple bags of chip and went back to the car as directed. And there I sat for a couple of hours until we drove to set was down below the underpass of the Brooklyn bridge. When I first drove on set, it didn't look like a huge scene. I helped line a small street with car. Will Smith's vehicle was parked a few cars in front of mine. We did a couple of rehearsals of grabbing our shit out of our cars and fleeing down the street. (The scene: the citizens of NYC trying to escape the zombie/vampire infected island.) I must go on a slight tangent about midgets now. First I don't find midgets funny for just being midgets. That Geico commercial with the midget actor: not funny. How did it come to be that being a midget was inherently funny? But it seems like they've always been there for our entertainment. I don't think much when it comes to midgets. They're just people, slightly off people. Look, I'm not saying I'd date a midget. But I think it's degrading to present them as comedic devices because they're not like the norm person. Saying that... I predict in the next 5 years I will have a midget in my writing for a good laugh. Okay back to the scene and why I orginally thought of midgets. Will Smith's stand-in was rehearsing for the camera and we all were following and it just so happened that I ended up behind him. Well he was carrying a child in his arms. Now children don't stand in for children actors, maybe because it requires a good amount of patience and time on set or simply it's easier than dealing with child labor laws. So I am walking behind the Will Smith stand-in and suddenly the midget in his arms turns around to face me and I really had to hide my shock. I don't know why I was thinking she was a kid, maybe cuz this was a REALLY small midget. Because for some reason the realization was pretty disturbing.
As the night went on more and more extras filled the street, all of them herding down the street, making it more and more difficult for me to get out of the car. Suddenly there were tanks and army type and police, a helicopter and lights, it definately picked up. Production decided they want to fill the car, so I had three guests. First a guy: he and his girlfriend were picked off the street and brought onto set. Then a girl: I'm not even sure what she was doing in NYC, she's goes to college in Boston. But apparently her agent got her the job and she was risking entry into certain colleges courses to be there. The third was a little girl: She was standing outside the car with her dad and I felt bad, so I asked the dad if she wanted to come inside (because there was only room for one more.) The college girl joined in and told the little girl to come in and sit next to her in the back seat, cuz she was harmless. Then I whispered loudly to the little girl not to come inside because the college girl was in fact quite dangerous. After some joking around the little girl came inside. And we formed this odd little group of four, acting as silly as possible in between takes. Many of the extras were idiots as far as staying out of the way of the car as I was driving, which was required later in the night, the PA's had to continuously yell at them to give us room. And then the car was not required in the scene, and by association neither was I. So there I sat for the remainder of night. And so I let the herds of extras pass me by as I sat warm inside the car, as I received countless envious looks from the people outside. And that's about it. I was nice to go home.

I must say it's good to be back online. My internet connection went poof the other day. And since then life just hasn't been the same.