Back to the Slab

When you're lying under a sheet on a cold metal mortuary slab, you kind of have to, for a moment consider, what the real thing would be like. Nothing, of course. When the real thing happens, it won't be an experience at all. Cuz I'll be dead. But still I had to think. I'll be here, just like this, maybe my back will be positioned a little differently, maybe my head, my heart won't be beating, I won't have to try holding my breath, I won't be conscious of the people looking down at me, my eye won't be twitching and some ugly things are gonna be done to me. I don't know, didn't seem to bother me that much. I credit that to the book "Stiff" and several misc. moments of self-realization.

Yeah, I was standing-in for a dead guy for part of the day. I didn't need to hold my breath, I just felt like it. It was a long and boring day. I was in holding for the first four hours and then on set for the next nine hours. The whole time I was thinking of how I couldn't wait to get home to eat either of the dishes I made yesterday, or take a hot shower or get that fucking popcorn kernel unstuck from my teeth (man, that drives me fucking crazy.)

One of my least favorite extras was there today. I call him dick wipe (long story) and everything he says comes out sprinkled with smug pretentiousness. Ugh, I can't stand him... and today I had to work with him. There was another guy there, whom I have worked with before. It's funny how people transform with the people they are around. Before I thought this guy was alright. Though today he and dick wipe were talking and the this guy was a total ass, so I didn't really bother talking to anyone. I just kept to myself, headphones on, and wrote the holding area period away.

The day was pretty blah. I did some more writing while waiting on set using my sides as the parchment. Waiting for the subway home, a service train passed by and I suddenly really really wanted to jump on it. I didn't, but I think I might have to someday. Someday soon?

I didn't get to purchase Borat today! boo!

My phone died and when I got home there was a message on it. Not a good message, not at all. I don't really know what is going on, because I was only given hints, but things in my family seems to be getting more and more screwed up. And I think things just took a sharp turn for the worst.

:(