Welcome Home

I have been looking forward to Kalju's homecoming party for quite a while now. So when I received a call for work this past weekend, I was certainly conflicted, but work as I said before is top priority. There is no choice in it, if I am offered I MUST take. So I did, but I was bummed that I would not be able to make it to the bash. And then the rain came. And when I called in for my start time for Saturday, there was a message saying that the shoot was pushed back to Sunday. The next hour was a frenzy of packing and getting to Penn Station bound for the Jersey shore line. Dave, who was coming for Mass. showed up at nearly the same time as I did. Drinking began and did not end until 5am. Probably not the best plan for the night preceding a long party, but what the hell.

*Note to self: Never drink gin again.

The party wasn't entirely what I thought it would be. There were so many old people! And I'm not sure they were prepared for a group of silly youngsters. So we all kind of played in cool for a few hours, letting the more formal part of evening happen. I think what probably started the REAL fun was when Kalju's mom wanted to dance with me and I got her to dosey-doe, others in the group of course joined in and the dosey-doe competition began. Then I somehow got hold of a tambourine. Anyone that knows me, knows that that is like opening the flood gates. A couple of dudes on guitars had been performing all night, with a brief break by Kalju's brother's pop-punk band, which I think opened the night up to the right vibe. WE ARE NOW GOING TO GET A LITTLE WILD. I made it up on stage and performed a song, a song I don't remember and then more and more people climbed the stage. We performed one song after another. Percussion instruments passed from one person to the next. I myself hopped from tambourine, to guitar, to piano, to drums. I don't really know how to play drums, but I managed alright I think. We gained or two more drummers through the night, including a two little girls that double teamed the set and didn't do a half bad job. We played played until the night was done. I remember a lot of smiles, it was a fantastic night and I feel really fortunate that I was able to be there. The coming back to NYC however nearly killed me. I had to leave by 12am that night, with the daylight saving I did not arrive back to my apartment until 4am. 1 hour and 45 minutes later I was waking up for work. There is a pain to that that can't be really related unless you yourself have been in the position. BUT i did it and I live.

I'm just trying to keep my life as busy as possible right now, trying to surround myself with people and more importantly good people. It is the only thing keeping me from sinking into a deep hole. I keep having dreams, cruel dreams that show me and that person I spoke of before reconciling. I had one the other night, she whispered into my ear that she loved me. That is a hard dream to wake up from.