Sitting in the Park, July 22, 2008

Right now I'm sitting in the park, a notebook on my lap, taking it all in as I wait for the first sentence to spark in my mind.

It's speckled with people, first the park, then my mind. They make me a bit lonely and give me company at the same time.

I look around and I see a man painting on an old style wooden isle that folds into case. He's aimed at the Hell Gate bridge and what a worthy landscape that is for canvas.

There's a trio of teens in front of me. They're seated in the grass. Their worlds are so small right now, with worries of prom and sports and grade averages and even sex. It's such a larger world than I had at that age.

The Creep type-cast passes me. He has a mechanical kind of gait and a suspicious glance. He passes around again.

Two dogs have come and gone. One resembled the owner as they both struggled with a light walk. Finally he squatted and gave her a gift, which she quickly wrapped up for him. Is he walking a little less weary? She isn't.

There's another man like me. He sits high on a bench and watches people.

A pair of dogs as separate as siblings can be - one ready to obey, the other not understanding the concept at all.

A couple, one plays the guitar. (That's three people - me included- in this small patch of park practicing an art in one form or another.) They sit in the grass and look in love.

3 more dogs. It finally dawns on me - they've all come here to poop after having been stuck inside for the last 9 hours. It's 6pm.

A corporate man in a stiff, humorless suit waits for his dog to drop one. A laugh at the thought of him picking it up. What a reversal. Dog's are fucking celebrities.

There's an incredible breeze in the air to an already perfect day. The wind whistles and barely muffles the laughter of the children far behind me at the public pool. There's a bit of shade that I hide under and it keeps the sun from reflecting off the notebook's white pages. A bright tall city peeking behind my left shoulder. I didn't even know it was a perfect day until I walked out here.


- Later the idea of a perfect day was exactly what I needed for the next sequence in my story. Go figure... I ultimately however went another direction, showing Airi at her worst moment instead...but there's still room for the original somewhere else. This shit might actually work! -

The Warm Up

Well, well, here I am again. I'll explain quite briefly. Though I no longer have an interest in blogging over my days, I have been trying new ways of ridding myself of writer's block. One method is to start things off with some free-style writing before I actually get into my story. I'm finding it helps, and as a believer of wasting as little as possible - I decided that I'd just post those its and bits of literary warm-up on here and record a slightly more aesthetic version of my life.

Failure is almost certain.

So There's No Assumption of Exaggeration

Projects and the End of Things

So here we are. Between the growing friction of Iran, and even China I wonder a little bit if we are all doomed. There are so many clashes and conflicts these days, how could one not consider this? And then you look at the Cold War and the general perception of people in that time or WWII or directly after the JFK assassination. It was pretty close to what it is now, average citizens preparing on some level to be blown the fuck up, either by invasion or nuclear threat. And that makes me think, am I really doing what I want with my life?? I think mostly yes. I would certainly like more travel before our borders are sealed up and we're not allowed to leave. But I'm doing what I like mostly and I'm enjoying it. I guess that is most important. Eh, anyway...

So it's been busy around these parts and I haven't really had the energy to blog. We recently finished filming the movie, not on the day I last reported but the following day, because the principal was suffering a hang-over (nothing unusual for this production). Sunday we did something of a sound mix and now my partner is scrambling to do the finishing touches in time to submit it into a Brooklyn film festival that seems anxious to see it.... Perhaps I should go on about the actually movie first. It's called Amerika das Geistes, or put more simply, America the Mental. Two friends and I started filming it a couple of months ago during the writer's strike. It is a fake documentary about a man whose day job is a drug enforcer. Meanwhile he is striving to be a comedy and so it follows his journey of self-discovery. The whole thing is utterly ridiculous. there is no script, it is all improv. The main character is deplorable, yet charming in some way. The main concept was disturbing violence meets comedy basically. We shot it leisurely, sometimes for a few hours a day, sometimes all day, and whenever we could all meet. It was a "great joy" as they say in the biz. It was fun to film with friend, it was fun to not have to deal with lighting really cuz I ended up behind camera for the majority of it, and it felt good to be making a film again and to actually finish it. My two friends were great to work with and did an amazing job for their parts. All in all, good times. So now we have to strike up a one of the actor unions so we don't get in trouble for making and maybe if fortune is with us, we can sell it. If not, oh well, nothing lost. I have about a million other projects in my head at the moment which is always a good feeling. But certainly my next concentration is getting the Paparazzo script out there, and possibly filming a scene from it to present to production companies. And of course there's Deadland, which is slowly being prepared for presentation. It is a little harder with this project because I am depending on others to do what I would hope they consider to be "their part" and it might just not happen, but I will try nonetheless. And so yes, life is quite busy. And then there is work. Yesterday I froze my ass off for most of the day, only to have my head completely covered in blood at the end to play a dead guy on Law and Order. Oddly enough that was when the day started to get a lot better. However it is good to have today off. So last but not least a couple of stills from America the Mental...

Last Day of Filming

It's called America, the Mental. And today we wrap principal photography. Details to come.

Find Cover

It's been a busy week. Today was the first day, I've had to relax. I spent it working on a map of the United States for Dead Land, which is a tad different than our current map, in time I will post it. It needs a lot more work. Monday and Tuesday I worked on something, don't remember what it was at the moment, don't care. Was work is all that matters. Oh shit, wait, I worked today too. It was such an early call and such a short day (3 1/2 hours) that I forgot about that. Wednesday I continued to film the movie I am making that I have yet to detail officially. I'm trying to keep as busy as I can, because when I'm not (like today) I hate my life, at least a good part of it. Maybe I'm just exhausted. I finally got some sleeping pills, because I haven't slept well in over a week, in that I wake up about every 10-30 and dream non-stop. Plus I've had a headache for about 4 days now. I kind of resolved a major issue in my life. It feels good not to be angry at her anymore, I don't want to be angry at her. But now it seems that it's harder, because I miss her more and that anger isn't there to help with the not talking. So I just need to focus on the things that I do have control over. Work, writing, film, exercise, hanging with friends. What a drab entry this is. It's night, what do you expect? I'm going upstate tomorrow to visit family. I decided that today. I need it. Goodbye NYC, for a few days anyway.

Fuck you world, just keeping spinning without me.